片名:《欺 骗》 DECEPTION
伦敦 1987年 London 1987.
我不说我的姓名 I won't say my name,
我今年33岁 but I'm 33.
婚姻是迈向悲惨生活的一步 My marriage gets more disastrous year-by-year.
可是我们有一个可爱的四岁女儿 Yet we have an adorable 4-year-old girl.
与菲利普相遇是在一年半以前 I met Philip a year and a half ago.
他是正居住在伦敦的美国作家 Philip is an American novelist who lives in London.
我不知道他移居伦敦的理由 I never understood that willful exile.
也一直在装作对他的名声毫不关心 Even though I pretend my lover's fame doesn't impress me,
我阅读了他所有的作品 I read all his books.
被有名的作家看上让我暗中高新 And deep down,I'm proud that an esteemed artist
并且被能在下午与他的幽会 found me interesting enough for secret trysts
所吸引 in the afternoon.
拜托了 Please.
把眼睛闭上吧 Close your eyes.
嘿,我可不想被绑住! I'm not going to be tied up!
亲爱的,谁告诉你这么早 My dear friend, who here ever suggested
就玩把你绑起来的游戏? tying you up so early in the game?
在书中可是很常见的 I read about it in books.
所以呢? So?
写书的可是作家 Writers write those books.
闭上眼睛 Close your eyes.
好吧 All right.
来做一个关于注意力的测试吧 Let's see if you've been paying attention.
请描述这个房间 Now describe this room.
首先是由两扇面朝院子的窗户 To begin with,it has two nice French windows.
很有朴素房间该有的样子 Looking out onto a lawn.
没有百叶窗 In the room's spare style,
也没有窗帘 the windows have no curtains,
因此房间的样子从附近能够看得一清二楚 so that nearby houses can see everything inside.
能看见的只有在打字 Mostly what they see is someone typing.
或者读书的男人 Or they see me reading.
他们应该看到更有趣的东西 They deserve to see something far more interesting.
在舒服的椅子上 There's a comfortable chair.
坐着一个不去上班的女人 In it,sits a woman who should be at work.
坐在一张皮质的工作椅上的 Listening to her lament her marriage,
是个男人 is a man,
他在听女人述说着 sitting in a leather desk chair.
糟透了的婚姻生活 His desk,about three by five,
写字台桌面是木制的,桌脚则是由灰色金属折成的 is a wood plank on a metallic pedestal.
桌面纸山里埋着的是写了一半的稿子 Piles of papers all over:
和信件什么的 an unfinished manuscript,stacks of letters,
以及报纸上关于以色列的剪报 and clippings about Israel from the papers
以向他的妻子证明 to prove to his wife that the British
英国人都是反犹太主义者 are all anti-Semitic.
写字台的对面放着打字机 At a right angle to the desk is the typewriter.
它被放在一个特制的支架上 It has its own special desk. Pica 72.
真厉害 Excellent.
书架上排列有 Behind,bookshelves.
《海涅的犹太喜剧》 "Heine's Jewish Comedy",
汉娜·阿伦特的《作为帕里亚的犹太人》 "Jew as Pariah"by Hannah Arendt,
《白夜》,从梅纳赫姆开始 "White Nights", Menachem Begin,
全是关于犹太人的书 Only books about Jews,
犹太作家写的 by Jews,
关于犹太人 for Jews.
天花板上挂着 Suspended above,a paper globe,
堆满灰尘的日本风格纸球 all dusty, Japanese.
一个收音机 A radio,
两个铬制的台灯 two chrome lamps.
用来运动和做爱的毯子 A plastic mat for back exercises and adultery.
垃圾桶里有即食食品餐盒 In the bin,take-out containers.
一个奢侈的细节是： One sybaritic detail:
装饰着天花板边缘的就只有石膏做的花 plaster floral ornamentation on ceiling molding.
漂亮 Wonderful.
说完了吗? That all?
是的 Yes.
现在闭上你的眼睛 Now close yours.
好的 Okay.
我要来测试你的注意力 Let's see how much attention you've been paying.
请便 Go ahead.
现在... Now...
来描述我吧 describe me.
1. 秋 AUTUMN
我的丈夫从情人那收到了礼物 My husband's girlfriend gave him a present.
对方是一位自命不凡 She's very pretentious.
充满野心与嫉妒的女人 A very jealous and ambitious kind of person.
她送给了他一张唱片 She gave him a record.
一张很有名,很美妙的舒伯特专辑 A piece by Schubert, very well known, very beautiful.
灵感来自于 Inspired by
舒珀特一生的巨大热情和一个令人眼花缭乱的有趣女人 the great passion of his life,a dazzlingly interesting woman.
封皮上就是这样写的 All spelled out in the liner notes.
他原本只要骗我是自己买回来的就好了 He could simply have said he bought it himself.
但他却诚实地告诉我是他的情人送他的 But no, he said his girlfriend had given it to him.
在一个喝了酒的晚上,我用粉色的笔在专辑上写了些东西 I was drunk one evening,I got a pink underlining thing.
我强调了几个特别搞笑的短语 I highlighted several particularly hilarious phrases.
"至高的热情" "The greatest passion ever".
"精神的结合" "Marriage of minds".
"恍惚" "Ecstasy".
然后平静而有尊严地 Then calmly and with dignity,
把唱片封面递给了我丈夫 I handed him the record cover.
你觉得过分吗? Was that awful of me?
为什么你当时喝醉了? Why were you drunk?
我只是喝了点酒,但我没醉 I wasn't drunk,but I drank a lot.
你晚上会喝得很多吗? You drink a lot at night?
没错. - 喝多少呢? Yeah. - How much?
特别多 A large amount.
但有时在晚上也不喝 Nights when I'm alone,I drink nothing.
大多情况下都是在饭前喝的,会喝好几杯双人份的酒 Otherwise,easily several doubles before dinner.
晚餐时会喝葡萄酒 And wine in between.
但也没有喝个烂醉 But I never really get drunk.
只是情绪上去 Just a little elevated.
真是奇怪的生活啊 You lead such a bizarre life.
这很奇怪 It is bizarre.
虽是个错误,但我很实在 It's a mistake,but here I am.
那就是我的生活 That's my life.
你真的不开心吗? How unhappy are you?
心情起起伏伏吧 It goes in periods.
会有难过的时候 We have periods of ghastliness.
也会有平静,充满爱的时候 Then long periods of quiet and love.
你们还睡在一起吗? You still sleep together?
我猜你就得问我这个问题 I thought you'd ask that.
但是我不打算回答 I don't intend to answer.
晚上好! Good evening!
晚上好 Good evening.
今天过得怎么样? Have a nice day?
我什么也写不出来... A wretched day of writing...
我的英雄真是可怜啊 My poor,aggrieved hero.
哦,亲一个! Oh,a kiss!
是啊! Yep!
我们相知甚密. - 是啊 We know each other.- Yes we do.
你在做什么? What are you doing?
重读便签 Rereading my notes.
不要太晚睡啊 Don't come to bed too late.
这就睡 I'll be there soon.
真让我惊讶! Very impressive!
什么? What?
我爱你. - 我也是 I love you.- I love you.
你得发型真让我惊讶 You,a ribbon in your hair.
不喜欢吗? Don't like it?
我喜欢 I do like it.
你对你的妻子哪儿不满意? Why aren't you happy with your wife?
你不满些什么? Why isn't it enough?
你对你丈夫有什么不满吗? Why isn't your husband enough?
别提我的丈夫了 I've told you lots about him.
跟我说说你的妻子吧 Tell me why your wife isn't enough.
你问错问题了 You're asking the wrong question.
那该问什么问题? What's the right one?
我不知道 I don't know.
为什么我在这里? Why am I here?
因为我没能抵挡住你的诱惑 Because I followed temptation where it led me.
我太老了,不能再放荡了 I do that now that I'm older.
你很关心你的妻子啊 Why so anxious not to hurt her?
我为什么要伤害她？ Why should I want to hurt her?
你好像没有什么自由? You don't seem free to do everything.
自由,你又如何? What's free? Are you free?
我也好不到哪儿去, Free-ish.
但比你自由 Free-er than you.
够了! 结束这段对话吧 Nonsense! Let's cut this conversation short.
为什么? Why?
把不伦关系放在一边 Maybe only one adulterous partner
一个人诉说家庭不满就够了 should complain about domestic dissatisfactions.
让你的不满越界 Making your dissatisfaction out of bounds.
除了你对英格兰和英国人的不满 Except your dissatisfactions with England and Englishness.
不能是国内的不满吗 Can't it be that domestic dissatisfactions
我爱上你的理由与对家庭的不满是无关的 have nothing to do with my falling in love with you?
因为我们之间的文化差异 Besides cultural displacement.
为此我才在这儿? I owe this to cultural displacement?
也许吧 Maybe.
所以我们的故事是一个文化故事 So our story is a cultural one?
我总是觉得很有趣的一种类型 A genre I always find interesting.
外邦妇女 Gentile women.
你爱上了人类学 You're in love with anthropology.
有更糟糕的方法来解决人类学差异 There are worse ways to address anthropological differences.
主题就是僧侣精神何仇外心里 The old standbys:hatred,xenophobia,
成了暴力与杀人 violence,murder.
是的,我的爱人,你就像... Yes,my dear,you're...
研究跨文化性爱的史怀切博士 you're the Albert Schweitzer of cross-cultural fucking.
马利诺夫斯基才是最棒的 Malinowski is fine, he'll do.
怎么了? What's wrong?
回答我 Answer me.
我是说不对劲 I can tell something's wrong.
一个保姆， A nanny,
和孩子还有两个人的帮忙把事情弄得一团糟 a child, two squabbling housekeepers.
而且这个国家总是下雨 And the usual English damp.
我不想再继续维持这段关系了 I don't think we can continue our liaison.
没有余地了 The days are too short.
真的吗? Really?
我很遗憾 That's too bad.
你不同意吗? You don't agree?
我们之前也谈过这个话题吧 Didn't our last conversation take that turn?
哦,是这样的 Oh,I see.
由你来决定吧 Whatever you want.
这样是最好的 I think it's best.
我知道你很痛苦 You said it's driving you nuts.
是什么让我痛苦？ What's driving me nuts?
所有这些性问题 All these sexual matters.
你说你不只热衷于浪漫的友谊 You said you weren't keen on just a romantic friendship.
如果你希望的话,我们之间可以更简单点 I'll simplify it for you,if you want it simple.
为什么沉默? 我讨厌你这样子 Why the silence? I hate you when you're silent.
我在呢 I'm here.
收到我的信了? Get my letter?
是,收到了,很棒的一封信 Yes,I got it.That letter is...wonderful.
我把它撕了 I tore it up.
那当然的 Obviously,of course.
这似乎是最好的做法. - 确实 It seemed the best thing to do.- Indeed.
看见你感觉很奇怪 Very strange to see you.
陌生人就不会,对吧？ Stranger not to,right?
我不知道 That I don't know.
你消失了好一阵子啊 You disappeared for a while.
你也变了 You've changed too.
看起来有些不一样了 You do look a bit different.
你怎么了? - 我看起来不一样了? What happened to you? - I look that different?
长高了? Taller?
变矮了吧? Shorter?
胖了吗. - 我不知道 Pudgier.- I don't know.
但是很微妙 It's very subtle.
很微妙? Something subtle?
是 Yeah.
我好想你 I've missed you.
好冷啊 I'm freezing.
应付丈夫把我弄得心烦意乱 I behaved very stupidly with my husband.
他让我孤独又抑郁 He's had to put up with me terribly lonely
就这样过了很多年 and depressed for years.
我没有外遇,我以为他很脆弱 I didn't have affairs.I thought he was vulnerable.
你丈夫听起来没那么脆弱 Your husband doesn't sound that vulnerable.
为什么不告诉他:"如果你不放弃她， Why not tell him:"If you don't give her up,
我会睡在另一个房间吗? I'll sleep in the other room?
你是自由的,你想跟她上床,还是跟我 You're free.Either you fuck her or you fuck me.
随便挑吧." Take your pick."
那可是他生活中最重要的女人 She's an important part of his life.
我可不能太自私 It would be selfish on my behalf.
你自私? Selfish on your part?
你这么认为的,那就嫁给我吧 You think you that,then marry me.
很高兴听到一个女人说: It's lovely to hear a woman say:
"让我丈夫放弃他的女朋友 "It would be selfish to ask my husband
是自私的." to give up his girlfriend."
我真的这么觉得 I think it would be though.
我们之间见不到的话就更有趣 It's easier when I don't see you.
忘记彼此的存在 We get distracted, we forget.
不用再进行丑陋的比较 None of this terrible comparing.
我想跟你说说我脑子里发生的变化 I wanted to explain what's going on in my head.
但是... But...
我觉得我在虐待 I feel like I'm abusing.
跟我说说吧 Let's talk about it.
我想知道你的脑子里在想些什么 I like to know what's in your head.
我喜欢你这颗会思考的脑袋 I'm very fond of your head.
周末我的妈妈要来见我 I had my mother for the weekend.
而我丈夫不在 And he just disappeared.
明天会让人特别不愉快,要和婆婆吃午饭 Lunch tomorrow with my mother-in-law,who's so hellishly unpleasant.
你知道宫颈在哪儿吗? You know what a cervix is?
我知道 I think so.
嗯,我的宫颈有一个肿块 Well,I've got a lump on mine.
我必须做一个检查什么的 I must do a test or something.
我丈夫说我毁了他的性生活 My husband says I've ruined his sex life.
和他一起时我没有感觉 I so don't enjoy sex with him.
每次都是... It's always...
粗暴和孤独 hard and lonely.
真是没有办法 That's the way it is.
这就是生活,不是吗？ It's life, isn't it?
为什么不试着帮帮你丈夫? Why not do your husband a favor and try to come?
我不想 I don't want to.
总比吵架要好 It's better than arguing.
我与他真的很生气 I get so angry with him.
不要生气 Don't get angry.
你丈夫和你做爱很正常 Your husband's fucking you.
我会拒绝 Let him.
这不在我有意识的控制之下 It's not under my conscious control.
做半个小时的妓女,不会杀了你! Just be a whore for half an hour.It won't kill you!
妓女不会来 Whores don't come.
演演妓女! Play the whore!
不要对每件事都那么认真 Don't be so serious about everything.
他是... He's...
认为女性必须有多次性高潮的那种， the type who thinks women must have multiple orgasms,
而我们必须要一至 that we must come together.
对年轻人来说很正常,不是吗? Normal for young people,isn't it?
当你老了,心生怨恨的时候 Once you acquire some history,resentments,
你为什么会对另一半失去性方面的关心和兴趣呢? how can you explain losing interest in someone sexually?
雪为何而下? Why not ask why it snows?
不是离开他的理由吗? Not a reason for leaving him?
你知道 You know,
我们见面的时候你已经成熟了 when I met you, you were ripe.
是该收获的时候了 Ripe for the picking.
不,我已经... No,I was...
掉在了地上,在树下渐渐地腐烂 on the ground,rotting under the tree.
"坠落于地面之上,腐烂在树影之下" On the ground, rotting under the tree.
你丈夫在医院里还好吧? Is your husband safely in a hospital room?
那个婊子也和他一起吗? Think the tootsie's there too?
"婊子"是我听过的最好的词 "Tootsie" is such a wonderful word.
是吧,我知道这么说你会开心 Yes,I thought you might like it.
你把我丈夫说得太坏了 I gave him unduly bad press.
他也有很多优点 He has many qualities.
但事实是... But the truth of the matter is...
我已经好久没有睡得那么好了 I haven't slept so well in ages.
一觉醒来,一切都非常平和 I woke up this morning feeling absolutely normal.
他明天回来 He comes back tomorrow.
你在颤抖,你病了吗? You're shaking.You ill?
我很兴奋 I'm terribly excited.
怎么了? What?
"你赋予我的 "And you give me
你眼中的喜悦 the pleasure of your eyes,
你的容颜 of your face,
你的肉体" of your flesh."
是因为这是在情人节吗 Maybe because it was Valentine's Day,
昨天我在半夜醒来 I woke up in the middle of the night
感到非常奇妙 with a terrific sensation.
你的手放在我身上的感觉 It felt like your hand was on my cock.
谁的手也不是 It was no one's.
只是个梦而已 It was a dream.
我竟然如此的迷恋你? How did I end up being so hooked on you?
都怪我们被关在你的房间里 It's that you spend all day in this room.
这里什么都没有 You have no new experiences here.
风平浪静的 No adventures.
我拥有你 I have you.
我们是什么时候遇见的? How long has it been now?
正好一年半前 A year and a half.
我对你一无所知 I know nothing about you.
虽然,,我知道了一点 Sure,I do know a bit.
那是从阅读你的图书中,但不是很多 From reading your books.But not a lot.
像《安妮日记》,我们还不如躲在弗兰克家的阁楼里, We may as well be holed up in the Frank family's attic.
是的 Yes.
那就是我们一生的命运 Our lot in life.
你在想什么? What are you thinking?
我非常想要变成单身 I feel so urgently the need for solitude.
你看起来非常疲惫啊 You look so damned tired.
那怎么办? What can I do?
我说了,离婚不就好了吗! I dunno,run away!
不可原谅 Excuse me.
周二我有约了 Know what I'm doing on Tuesday?
去干啥 No.
去见律师 I'm seeing a solicitor.
为了离婚吗? About getting a divorce?
只是去咨询一下 Just to find out what's up.
我那时肯定会很不高兴的 I'll get to your place in a heightened state.
我走了 I'm off.
应该很有趣 It should be interesting.
当我住在乡下 When I lived in the country,
还不怎么去城里的时候 before spending time in the city,
我还很单纯 I was so simple.
那时的我已经死了 If you struggle a lot,that dies.
那时还是个很开朗的女孩 I used to be a lot of fun.
我喜欢现在的你 I enjoy you now.
要是你丈夫问你这是怎么弄伤的怎么办? What if he asks how you got the bruise?
他已经问过了 He already has.
然后呢? And?
我直说了 I told the truth.
我总是这样做.那样,你永远不会被抓住 I always do.That way,you never get caught.
你是怎么说的? What did you say?
我说:"是因为在 I said:"I got this bruise
热烈拥抱时受了伤 in a torrid embrace
是和一个失业的作家 with an unemployed writer
在一个公寓里 in a flat,
地点是诺丁山的廉价公寓 a walk-up, in Notting Hill."
然后呢? And?
这听起来很傻,每个人都会笑 It sounds silly and everyone laughs.
而你保持城市的错觉 And you maintain the illusion of honesty.
绝对地 Absolutely.
我曾是一个捷克小女孩 I was a little Czech girl.
我去了你住的旅馆 I went to your hotel.
你告诉我去你的房间 You asked me up to your room
是帮你搬一些书 to help you carry some books.
那是早上十点钟 It was 10 o'clock in the morning.
酒店的接待很失礼 And they were very rude with me.
我被当做娼妇一样对待 They treated me like a whore.
然后你愤怒地呵斥了她们! And you,you made a scene!
你当时很体贴 You were kind.
那是和你在卡雷尔桥上散步 Then I took you across the Charles Bridge
你教了我一大堆常用的成语 and you taught me tons of colloquial words.
我们在酒店里享用了晚餐 We had dinner at your hotel.
但你对我并不感兴趣 You didn't care particularly about me.
但是我才二十一,二岁 I was about 21,22.
如今已经上了年纪 I'm much older now.
和你一起去过的公园叫什么来着? What's that park at the top of Prague where we sat?
我们没有去过那,你不是和别人去的吧 We didn't go there.That was someone else.
不会,我是专门 No,no one else.
被你吸引了才去的 I particularly did care for you.
你还记得你邀请我参加过乱交派对吗? You once telephoned me to invite me to an orgy, remember?
是的没错! You did!
我因为太害怕所以拒绝了 I wasn't brave enough to go.
不来是正确的 You didn't miss a thing.Very boring.
每当和你一起进入餐厅的话 You were always tailed.
你总是别人的监视对象 When we sat in a restaurant,
一定会有男警察一直坐在附近 that guy from the police always sat next to us.
我们发现后忍无可忍 We found it unbearable.
真是的 It was unbearable.
我在美国图书馆工作 I worked at the American library.
我的这份工作是教授给我介绍的 My professor got me the job.
他说这对我们大家都很棒 He said it would be great for us all
因为可以看书嘛... because we could get books...
看书 Books.
虽然那是一份很好的工作 And it was a fantastic job.
后来却变得十分辛苦 But in the end it became difficult.
我被威胁说 I had to decide
如果不做间谍活动的话,就会被开除 to work for the Secret Service or to leave.
这里是伦敦,放心地说吧 You're in London now.You can talk.Talk!
我会说的 I'll tell you.
他们跟我说... They told me...
我们知道你喜欢这份工作 We know that you like your job,
而且你赚的很多 that you make lot of money.
然后他们要求我在一份文件上签字 They gave me a paper to sign.
接下来我要说的是国家机密 The discussion we'd be having was a state secret.
他说如果我向任何人透露的话 If I spoke to anyone,
包括我的家人 including my own family,
我会被告发 I would be prosecuted
然后被刑法拘留七年 and imprisoned for seven years.
我因害怕就问,会犯什么罪? Sentenced for what?
反正我冒着坐牢的风险 I risked prison anyway.
我很害怕,我告诉了我所有的朋友 I was so scared,I told all my friends.
所以我说: So I said:
"为什么要签我一无所知的东西?" "Why sign something I know nothing about?"
签字! 别问问题了! Sign it! Stop asking questions!
我不能签任何我不知道的东西! I can't sign anything I don't know about!
你的工作,朋友,国家… Your work,friends,country...
一切都结束了,你明白吗? it's all over, you understand?
"不,我会直接告诉你,我不能 "No,I'll tell you straightaway,I can't,
我做不到" I can't do it."
所以他们说:"那你就去找其他的工作吧 So they said:"You'll have to find another job.
这里没有你的未来" There's no future for you here."
我没有马上被开除 They didn't fire me immediately.
我继续回去工作,并且对此事闭口不谈 I went back to work.I didn't tell anyone.
但从那开始才是噩梦 Then the nightmare began.
美国人也在迫使我做同样的事情 The Americans did the same thing.
因为他们雇了我和我的本领 Said they were interested in me,
所以拜托我收集情报 that I should spy for them.
亚娜! Jana!
同样的事情,我也拒绝了美国人 Same thing,I refused the Americans too.
到那时,我的处境已经变得 By that time,my situation had become
非常糟糕 absolutely awful.
他们对我都感兴趣,我只是擅长外语而已 They were both interested because I speak the languages.
只是擅长翻译而已 I'm quite good at translating.
我一直很喜欢文学 I always enjoyed literature.
我知道 I know.
我为一张报纸 I translated stories
翻译了一篇报道 for Czech papers.
在图书馆被孤立,不得不辞职 At the library,I'd become so isolated I had to quit.
接着决定出国 I left soon after.
然后与一个愚蠢的英国人结了婚 That's why I married that stupid Englishman
因为他喜欢我 who at least knew he wanted me.
那是1978年 1978.
你结婚是为了出国,不羞愧 You married to get out. No shame.
出国 To leave the country,
手续很复杂,要花很多的时间 you need lots of papers,it takes forever.
当我离开捷克斯洛伐克时,我不再爱他 When I left Czechoslovakia,I no longer loved him.
就算到了英国 When I got to England,
也没什么办法 I just couldn't cope.
起初,他看到我哭时很生气 At first he was so upset to see me crying.
我感到很痛苦 I felt miserable
我想念我的朋友 and I missed all my friends.
虽然我做了各种各样的工作 I did every odd job.
但 每次都三天就被开除了 And on the third day,I'd be thrown out
都是因为顶嘴 because I talked back.
我一直是个捷克人 I was still a Czech.
跟我说说你自己吧 Your life story is more interesting.
不了,你继续吧 Not at all.Go on.
与丈夫离婚的时候是怎么样的? The English husband...how did it end?
很痛苦 Badly.
捷克让人讨厌的是 I hated Czechoslovakia
规则过分的严格 because it had very set rules.
让人窒息 You couldn't breathe.
但是我也讨厌英国 But I don't like England,
英国有着不同形式的规则 because it has another set of rules.
我觉得拥有一座带菜园的小房子 Of little houses and vegetable gardens,
就已经是我人生的终点了 and all their life is to get something like that.
真是无法接受啊 I can't be like that.
因为我受过教育 Because I'm educated.
这里却不是我的容身之地 I have no place here.
一个都没有 None at all.
你好,是我 Hello.It's me.
哦,是你 Oh,it's you.
你好吗? How are you?
我很好. - 有什么消息? I'm fine.- What do you know?
有什么进展吗? Anything new?
没有 No.
今天早上我要去做CT检查 I have to do a tomography this morning.
要花一整天时间 It's quite a heavy day.
这样啊 I see.
CT上能看出什么吗? The tomography will tell you what?
能看出我还能活多久 How long I have.
骗你的 No.
如果发现有肿瘤就糟糕了 If the tomography shows tumors,it's bad news.
那样的话就说明药没有用了 It means the drugs aren't working.
就算没有异常的地方,我也要开腹手术 And if it shows nothing,I still need surgery
是为了确认情况 to see what's going on.
周一就可以知道结果了 Results are on Monday.
所以这个周末你过的很糟糕 So this is a big weekend.
是啊 Yes.
确实很糟糕 Pretty big.
写作方面呢? Are you able to write anything?
写不下去了 The narratives crumble.
不,我一直在做瑜伽 No, I've been doing yoga.
我吃长寿菌 I eat macrobiotic.
长寿菌... Macrobiotic...
我正享受着残留的喜悦 I'm just trying to live with what joy there is.
你身边的人怎么样? -很好啊! How's your support system? - Great!
就连我父亲都从他的住处打来电话 Even my father phoned from wherever the hell he lives now.
那样叫很好吗 So it's not so great.
多亏得了癌症,我和父亲才说上话 It is! A call from my father makes cancer worth it.
大家都很温柔 No, they're great.
我的前任们也是很棒 All my ex-men are wonderful.
非常好 Very nice.
非常细心 Very attentive.
你不回美国了吗? Never coming back to America?
下个月去纽约见你 New York next month.I'll see you the day I get in.
太好了 Nice!
你那边怎么样? What's up over there?
伦敦的生活怎么样? What's London life like?
跟在纽约的生活没什么两样 Not very different from 81st Street.
放在这里吧 Put it here.
谢谢 Thank you.
还在写作吗? Still writing?
是啊 Yes.
我还以为你可能放弃了呢 I thought you'd give that up with any luck.
我现在用打字机写 No.With my typewriter in my room.
但是我晚上会去参加社交活动什么的 And in the evening,cultural events,social events.
英式的活动都很无聊 Very insipid,very English.
不是社交而是晚宴 Social events are called dinner parties.
是的 Yes.
我被迫坐在别人妻子的旁边 Trouble is,I get seated by other men's wives.
那当然 Of course.
你对别人的妻子怎么看? You know about other men's wives?
她们都是一副无聊的样子 They're boring.
特别无聊 Very.
曾是人妻的你可真好 Unlike you when you were another man's wife.
我的小说呢? Where's my book?
什么小说? What book?
里面有我的那本 The book with me in it.
我很喜欢! I like that one!
那个我还会再写的,做些有趣的事吧! So do something interesting I can stick in there!
我吗? Me?
我可是快要死了 I may be dying.
那个你不知道 You don't know that.
周一就会对有结论了 I'll know Monday.
我周一还会打给你的 I'll call Monday for your results.
我会在说无聊的话之前把电话挂了 Now I'm going to stop before I utter more platitudes.
是吗! Yes!
无聊的对话是... When I hear platitudes,
不要漏听了! I prick up my ears!
确实! Indeed!
拜 Bye.
真是美好的一天 Have a good day.
再见了 Goodbye.
4. 冬天 WINTER.
等等... Wait...
我们写下来吧 I'll write them down.
从你哪里的出的... You begin.
标题是? What's it called?
不知道,该叫什么呢? I don't know.What do we call it?
"追随私奔之梦的调查问卷" "Questionnaire about dreaming of fleeing together".
很好,"问卷... Nice."Questionnaire...
"有关恋人们... "about lovers...
梦想一起私奔的恋人" lovers dreaming of fleeing together".
"关于恋人做梦的问卷... "Questionnaire about lovers dreaming...
"中年恋人们的调查问卷" middle-aged lovers - fleeing together.
你不是中年人! - 我是! You're not middle-aged! - I am!
我觉得你看起来很年轻! You seem young to me!
把那个也加入到问卷中 Add that to the questionnaire.
"梦中一起私奔的恋人们的调查问卷" "Questionnaire about lovers dreaming of fleeing together."
"私奔" "Fleeing together."
你先开始吧 You begin.
你觉得我的哪里最让你恼火? First thing about me that would get on your nerves?
你很可爱的社交方式 Are you a charming extrovert
神经质的内向性格? or a neurotic recluse?
最后... How long...
你是什么时候被其他女性吸引的? before you're attracted to another woman?
或是说是其他男性? Or you by a man?
你不能变老 You mustn't get older.
你也希望我这样吧? You think the same about me?
你会同时爱多少人? How many men do you need?
你确定你是一个异性恋吗? Are you entirely heterosexual?
能详细说明一下 Do you have an idea
你迷上我的原因吗? 要精确 of what interests you in me? Be precise.
你... Have you...
你对我撒过谎吗? ever lied to me?
你会说谎吗? Do you tell lies?
不能忍受谎言吗? Are you against lying?
在你看来,宽容的本质是 Do you think that being generous-minded
一个弱点吗? is a sign of weakness?
你在意自己的弱点吗? Do you care about being weak?
那么对于强大呢? And you,about being strong?
你能让我用多少钱? How much money will you let me spend?
你会让我来管钱吗? Would you let me have any power over your money?
你对我失望过吗? How am I already a disappointment?
你会死吗? Are you going to die?
你的身心都健康吗? Are you physically and mentally sound?
你对犹太人的真实感受是什么? What are your real feelings about Jews?
如果我的丈夫过来,你会看着像个傻瓜吗? How inept would you be if my husband discovered us?
如果现在就进来的话? If he came in now?
等等 Wait.
这是第十七个问题了,还有吗? Seventeen.Any more?
我不记得了 I can't think of any.
我很期待你的回答. - 我也是 I look forward to your answers.- And I to yours.
对了有一件事 I do have one more.
是吗 Yes?
你喜欢我的服装品味吗? Do you like how I dress?
很难回答啊 That's straining.
真过分! Bastard!
是很简单的问题 Not at all straining.
越是一些鸡毛蒜皮的事,就越让人不舒服 The more trivial the defect,the more anger it inspires.
最后一个问题吗? One last question?
我还有! I have it!
最后一个问题 The last question.
你会不会以任何方式 Do you in any way,
在内心深处的某个角落里还藏着不切实际的幻想 in the corner of your heart,still harbor the illusion
婚姻也还是... that marriage
爱情的归属 is a love affair?
如果是这样,它可能会导致很多问题。 If so,it can cause many problems.
我怀孕时的感觉是最糟糕的 I hated being pregnant.It drove me crazy.
因为在孩子出生前不知道会有什么缺陷 I made a fuss about potential birth defects
所以感到很不安 that went undetected before delivery.
然后我询问了医生 I asked the doctors:
"如果孩子有严重的生理缺陷出生会怎样"? "What if there's something seriously wrong with the baby?"
我在生孩子之前因为看了这样的新闻而动摇了 I was upset about a story on the news just before I was due.
有先天缺陷孩子的母亲 About a woman with a handicapped child.
不给孩子喂食,想要杀死自己的孩子 She stopped feeding it,to kill it.
但孩子最后还是得救了 The baby was adopted.
大家都喜欢看到别人遭遇不幸 Creeps get off on others' misfortunes.
你不是个例? You're not one?
你呢? 你连健康的孩子都不想要 Are you? You don't even want a healthy kid.
有一天,我的医生偷偷告诉我 One day,a doctor I saw told me in secret
只要在婴儿的喉咙里塞入棉花就可以杀死他了 you can suffocate a baby with surgical swabs.
我说应该还有更温柔的办法 I replied there must be a less cruel way
来摆脱一个孩子 to get rid of a child.
真让人头疼 It worried me so.
在英格兰 In England,
生产完六个月不到的时间里犯了罪的女人 if a woman commits a crime within 6 weeks of childbirth,
被赦免了 she won't go to court.
我在报上看见的 I read this.
我们的法律有一个条款规定... Our law has a clause stipulating that...
刚刚生产完的女性是精神不正常的 during that time women aren't sound of mind.
你杀了孩子还无罪赦免吗! You can kill your kid and get away with it!
不出意外的话,应该是的 You'd have to be careful, but yes.
认真回答我... Honestly...
有时会有 has the thought
这种想法从你脑海里闪过 ever crossed your mind
想从窗户上纵身一跃? about jumping out a window?
有过 Yes.
多吗? A lot?
偶尔 Sometimes.
怎么放弃了呢? What stopped you?
因为我不想死 It isn't that I want to die,
我想活着 it's that I want to live.
我想活的更好 I want life to be better.
所以才想着再活一阵子吧 So better to stay in it a bit longer.
你又不说话了 You're not saying much.
我在听 I'm listening.
我是一个聆听者 I'm an écouteur.
聆听会感到快乐 I'm an audiophiliac.
我是个爱说话的人! I'm a talk fetishist!
很色情 Very erotic.
你坐在那聆听的样子 You just sitting there,listening.
新的皮带! A new belt!
和你一起共度雪天是最美妙的 Very cozy with you on a snowy day.
像这样看着漫天飞舞的雪花 Lying like this,the snow going round.
感觉特别好 Quite wonderful.
没事吧? Feel all right?
甜的... Sweet...
姑娘 girl.
你在想什么? What are you thinking?
什么都没想 No thoughts.
太美了? Is that nice?
真厉害 It's sublime.
太棒了... Sublime...
你更喜欢哪一个? Which do you prefer?
我说不出来 I can't answer that question.
可是我想知道,你会选哪一个? But I want to know.Which do you prefer?
你是指爱抚吗？ For fondling?
没割过包皮的更好 The uncircumcised.
玩弄包皮很有趣 It's interesting to move the sheath over the head.
这样啊 Yes.
那做爱的话呢? And for fucking?
不要问有素养的英国女人这个问题 Don't ask this of a nicely brought-up English female.
回答我 For fucking?
做爱吗... For fucking...
割了的更好 the circumcised.
理由呢? Why?
有一种全裸的感觉 It's like having it naked.
全裸阴茎？ The naked penis.
全裸阴经 The naked penis.
全裸阴经啊 Naked penis.
为什么大家都讨厌以色列吗? Why does everyone hate Israel so much?
你能说明一下吗 Can you explain it to me?
我觉得我可以说明 I think I'd be able to.
真的? Really?
我每次在外面都要和别人发生争执 I have an argument every time I go out.
回到家也气得睡不着觉 And I come home in a fury and can't sleep.
这个世界上最大的灾害有两个 I'm allied with the planet's two greatest scourges:
是你和你 you and you.
以色列和美国 Israel and America.
假设以色列是最烂的... Let's grant that Israel's a terrible country...
不行,我不承认 But I won't, I won't!
我是说假设,明白了吗? But let's grant it.All right?
更过分的国家还有很多 Still,there are many countries far more terrible.
我不是很明白你说的那点 I've never understood it myself.
这可是现代史上最大的谜团之一 It's one of the most curious freaks in modern history.
那为什们? But why?
告诉我 Tell me.
你问过别人吗? - 问过很多人 Do you ever ask people? - Yes,often.
他们怎么说? And what do they say?
是因为不该对阿拉伯人进行打击报复吗? How they treat Arabs is the greatest crime in human history?
是啊,大家都这么说 Sure,that's what they say!
但这是伪善里最典型的例子 One of the most extraordinary pieces of hypocrisy
是人类史上罪恶略的伪善! in the history of humanity!
5. 捷克导演 THE CZECH DIRECTOR.
我带了来机场接我的 Olina meets me at the airport.
奥莉娜礼服与香水 I bring her a Laura Ashley dress.Perfume.
想着亲吻后一起回家吃晚餐 She kisses me.There's dinner waiting.
然而门开了 Then the door opens.
一个身高1米九几的黑人,穿着两百美金的皮鞋 A six-foot Black man.Shoes for 200 dollars.
戴着闪亮的金项链和戒指 Gold necklace, gold ring.
"这是安德鲁 "This is Andrew.
可以让我住下吗?" Can he live in the spare room?"
我说道:"这可能不太好" "There's no future for all of us here."
奥莉娜说:"他能留下来吃晚饭吗?” Her: "Can he stay for dinner?"
虽然我才刚刚回来,不过也行吧 It's my first night back,but okay.
因为拒绝黑人很困难不是吗 You can't tell a Black man:"No you can't stay for dinner."
第二天奥莉娜这样和我说: The next morning,my Olinka tells me:
"我爱他,我想和他结婚" "I love him.I want to marry him."
我当时气得真想立马掏出一把猎枪 I was close to buying a hunting rifle.
对于这种情况,散弹枪可能还太温柔了,要猎枪才行 Not a shotgun,a fucking hunting rifle.
然后我的心脏病发作了 I had a heart attack.
胸口剧烈的疼痛 Terrible chest pains.
接着我就住院了一周,花了很多钱 A week in the hospital,it cost me a fortune.
我的律师笑道:"你和你老婆有一个联名账户!" My lawyer laughs:"You and your wife got a joint account!"
怎么会? You couldn't have?
我信任她! I trusted her!
她以前是多纯的捷克女孩啊! She was a little Czech girl!
你看她 Look at her.
她和美国的那些女流氓不一样! Not an American bitch!
伊万,我也是美国人... Ivan,I'm American...
她是信仰天主教的处女! This girl,a Catholic,was a virgin!
每晚都穿着很长的睡衣 She went to bed in a long nightdress.
从未有过性高潮 Never had an orgasm.
我虽然不年轻了,但是很努力 I'm not young,but I'm a good worker.
可却完全没有用! Nothing! Impossible!
现在她想离婚 Now she wants to divorce.
她爱上了那个男人,她很痛苦 She loves that man,she suffers a great deal.
那好,那就那样吧! Okay,fine, perfect!
但是那家伙和你不一样 But he didn't fuck her like you did.
他只是渴望她的身体而已 He fucked her for fucking.
你是为了听别人说话才和对方做爱,是吧 You're more interested in listening than fucking.
我没有和奥莉娜做过爱 I never fucked Olina.
别骗我了,我的朋友 You're lying to me,my friend.
她才骗你那 She's lying,if she said that.
我在纽约睡了她四次 Fucked her 4 times in New York.
自我从布拉格来后,我们成了很好的朋友 When we were such good friends after I came from Prague.
我一次都没有! Not even once!
打住! 奥莉娜都告诉我了! Stop! Olina told me everything!
"他只会提问题" "Why does he ask irritating questions?"
停,全都是假的! Stop,it's not true!
狡猾的混蛋! 你无法抗拒一个故事 Deceitful bastard! You can't resist a story
你连流亡朋友的妻子都不放过 even from the wife of this refugee friend.
你是不会成为了不起的作家的 It limits you as a friend and as a novelist.
我的书写的如何? My books stink too?
伊万,他们在等... - 不,别进来 Ivan,they're waiting...- No,get lost.
别吼她! Don't shout at her!
你还想要什么,你这个混蛋? What did you expect,you bastard?
为惨淡的艺术献出了妻子? That I'd help perfect your lousy art after you banged her?
随便你怎么说! Insult me if you like!
你在装傻吗? You insist on playing dumb.
看看你! 连汗都不流 Look at you! You're not even sweating.
你真是个好演员! 但却是个三流作家 Yeah,a great actor! But what a terrible novelist.
因为不是事实,所以我才不流汗 I'm not sweating because none of this is true.
当我有罪时,我是一个糟糕的演员! When I'm guilty,I'm an awful actor!
相信我 Believe me,
我比尼克松出的汗都多! I out-sweat Nixon!
打住吧...别喝了 Stop with this...Stop.
我知道你和她分手很痛苦 Her leaving you is obviously killing you.
太可怕了,正经说,,这里的事情还没有解决 It's awful. And professionally,things haven't worked out here.
现在又失去了奥莉娜 And now you lose Olina.
从第一次我们大家相遇 Since the first time we all met,
你就对奥李娜使眼色 you've been ogling her.
是,我的确被年轻的她吸引了 Yes,I ogled her! She's young and pretty.
但那和上床没关系! But ogling isn't fucking!
你个美国混蛋 You American shitface.
真是个下贱的骗子! Pampered little liar!
放下枪! 你得心脏病还会发作的! Put that down! You'll have another heart attack!
别害怕,美国男孩 Don't worry, American boy.
我不会打穿你的裤子的 I won't shoot you in the trousers.
真是无理! There's no cause to!
那就打穿你的耳朵吧 No,I'll shoot you in the ears.
6. 上帝的恩赐 THE GOVERNOR's PARDON.
是我,检查结果怎么样? Yes it's me. How did it go?
真是个奇迹... A miracle...
不会吧! No!
真的! Yes!
太好了! No!
奇迹发生了! It's a miracle!
告诉我奇迹 Tell me about the miracle.
CT检查什么都没发现 The tomography showed no sign of pathology.
也就是说这个非常致命的东西 So this thing which was incredibly virulent
对治疗的药效反应很快 is responding to the treatment.
真是太棒了! - 是,听着 This is wonderful! - Yes,wait.
说我只剩下一年的医生听了也很高兴 The doctor's pleased.He'd given me a year.
预测变了! The prognostic has changed!
棒极了！ Phew!
真是棒极了! Phew!
正如你说 As you say.
你做得很好 You did all right.
是啊,很顽强 Yeah,I did all right.
这样就叫做 Know what this is called?
上帝的恩赐 The governor's pardon.
但谁是上帝? But who's the governor?
虽然不知道是谁 No idea!
我暂时先放下这份恩赐吧 But clearly I must stay on his good side.
你做了全身的CT吗? A tomography of your whole body?
没有 No.
是从腹股沟到心脏 From the groin to the heart.
医生说 And the doctor said
如果体内某处有肿瘤的话 if there was a tumor anywhere else,
这个范围内会显现出阴影 there'd be a liquid,a shadow,in that area,
就是最先产生癌症的地方 the starting area.
被叫做... It's called...
这些癌症的"首选路径" "the preferred path"of these cancers.
知道吗? Know about that?
"首选路径" "The Preferred Path".
难以置信 Unbelievable.
总之真的是棒极了的消息! This is terrific,this is terrific news!
是啊! Yes!
今天是很棒的一天 It's been quite a day.
我被吓到了 I was scared.
真的被吓到了 I was so scared.
想着万一要是有什么的话... I thought there might be something...
我一定会崩溃的 hideous in my nature
做出什么反应都是本能的 that would make me weep at the news.
你有权做出任何反应 You're entitled to any reaction.
感情是没有 No preferred paths
"优先路线"的 for emotions.
那么我挂电话了 So now I'll say goodbye.
这么快? Already?
你还有什么想说的吗? What more is there to say?
我就知道你会说这句话 I knew you'd react like this.
是的吗？- 好吧! Come on. - No!
我们做朋友吧 We must remain friends.
老朋友 Old friends.
无论如何,我也不是完全治好了 Anyway,I'm not completely out of the woods.
所以暂时对我温柔一点吧 So you can still be a little nice to me.
完全治好了以后呢? And once you're out of the woods?
用你的方式就好 Then you can be yourself.
好吧 All right.
知道了 All right.
美好的一天 Have a good day.
晚安 Goodnight.
7. 冬季运动 WINTER SPOETS.
还记得我吗? Remember me?
我想起来了 It's coming back.
一点点 Slowly.
好好想想 Take your time.
你瘦了? You got thinner?
你习惯了胖的男人吗? You got used to someone fatter.
见到你真好 It's great to see you.
我希望你能来滑雪 I wish you could have come skiing.
这样能让我的心情平复下来 It's so peaceful.
坐着安静的电梯上山 Going up the hill very quietly on the lift.
我登上过很多的山顶. - 和我? You're with me on many mountains. - Me?
是啊,一起坐电梯去的 Yes,while riding the T-bar.
我和电梯的声音 Me and the hiss of the T-bar.
没错 That's right.
你的家庭怎么样了? Everything's right at home?
是,很顺利 Yes,perfect.
没有什么比附近的老男友更适合结婚了 Nothing better for a marriage than an old boyfriend nearby.
你是认真的吗? Is that what you think?
这样的坐姿是作为母亲不被允许的 Mother taught me never to sit cunt exposed.
把脚放在男人的肩膀上也是吗? And legs over a man's shoulders?
她从没这么说过 She never mentioned that.
我不认为她有任何想法 I don't think she had any idea
我会为此而为的 I'd go in for that.
闻闻看 Smell this.
真的很好闻 It really smells good.
没事吧? You all right?
明天我有生日会 I'm going to have another birthday tomorrow.
又有? - 是,没办法 Not again? - Yes.No way around it.
1988减去1929 Subtract 1929 from 1988,
是59岁了 you get 59.
你讨厌吗? Why take it so hard?
听你的! Listen to you!
你不是也在自己34岁时感叹过吗 You piss and moan about being 34.
我是有理由的 I know why I take it so hard.
你呢? But you?
因为觉得人生的最后阶段了 Because life will be over soon.
不久即要死去了 I'll be dead.
那就是理由 There you go.
我拿了伏特加 Vodka?
你喜欢斯拉夫人吗? Why do these Slavs come see you?
当然,我喜欢他们 Because I like them.
真的,比英国人还好吗 Really? More than the English?
为什么? Why?
是因为他们很痛苦吗？ Because they suffer so much?
你知道 You know,
流离失所者有话要说.有时你可以伸出援助之手 displaced persons have things to say.Sometimes you can lend a hand.
受害者情有独钟? 从犹太人开始? Soft spot for victims? From being Jewish?
我不认为自己是犹太人的受害者! I don't see myself as a Jewish victim!
你是本世纪出生的少数犹太人之一 You're among the few Jews born in this century
并奇迹般地从大屠杀中躲过了一劫 who miraculously escaped the horror.
所以那些没有逃脱的人,不管是不是犹太人,都会让你着迷 So those who didn't escape,Jewish or not,fascinate you.
他们不吸引你吗? They don't fascinate you?
我很好奇 I'm curious,
但我必须承认 but never would I go on holiday in those countries,
我永远不会去那些国家度假 I must admit.
你是怎么卷入其中的？ How did get you get into that?
只是偶然 By accident.
写完书我就要去旅游了 I'd finished a book,I was traveling.
这是1971年发生的事 It was '71.
和朋友一起从维也纳向布拉格出发 My friend and I drove from Vienna to Prague.
我走了一圈,感觉很好 I walked around a bit and I felt good.
我在那里有一个出版商,所以我想我不妨见见他 I had a publisher there,so I figured I may as well meet him.
第二天,我到了那并自我介绍 Next day,I go and introduce myself.
那个社长 And the director
把他所有的工作人员都叫到我身边 gathers all his staff around me
和斯利沃维茨一起为我干杯 to toast me with slivovitz.
他们都已经醉了 They were already plastered.
然后一个员工过来在我耳边对我说： Then an employee comes and whispers to me:
"社长就是头猪 "Our director is a swine!
他是个把社员出卖给警察的垃圾" He'll go rat on us to the regime."
我发现这非同寻常,我感觉更好 I found that extraordinary and I felt even better.
那以后过了好几年 A thousand stories later,
我在路上差点被警察逮捕了 I got corralled on the street by the police.
在1975年 This was in '75.
那时,我是在拜访作家朋友的时候 By then,I was used to cops tailing me,
就有很多警察跟踪我 especially when visiting writer friends.
春季的一天 But it was the spring,
两个警察在街上走近我,要我出示证件 two police approached me in the street and asked for ID.
我出示了我的护照,签证,还有酒店卡 I showed them my passport,visa,hotel form
接着说要带我去警局 and they declared I must go to precinct.
然后我看到一个电车站 Then I saw a trolley stop
就在几米之外 a few feet away.
我大叫到: I start shouting:
"我被警察骚扰了! "I'm being harassed by the police!
我要求去美国大使馆” I demand to be taken to the American Embassy."
警察一遍又一遍地说:"到车站去” The cop repeats: "Come to station."
他说的是捷克语,但我他妈听不懂 He spoke in Czech but I got the fucking drift.
我就是不肯动,并一直在喊 I refused to move,I kept shouting.
喊了整整15分钟 It went on for 15 minutes.
不! 不! 不! "No! No! No!"
弄得穿制服的警察走到街上 The uniformed cop went up the street
去问那边的便衣警察 to ask a plainclothes cop there.
就在这时,一辆电车停在了车站 Just then,a trolley stops at the station.
我想:"这世界上不会真有乖乖等着被抓的傻瓜吧!" I think:"Why wait to get arrested? I'm stupid!"
我跳上了电车 I jump on the trolley.
我的心怦怦直跳,汗如雨下 My heart's pounding,I'm covered in sweat.
然后我换车,在街上奔跑 I change trolleys,run down streets.
我回到酒店,颤抖着 I get back to my hotel, shaking.
给我的捷克朋友打电话 I call my Czech friend.
我的朋友大笑着说: And my friend bursts out laughing.He says:
"警察只是单纯的恐吓和骚扰罢了" "The police only want to harass you. They scared you."
在那以后我就在也没有拿到捷克的签证了 Never again did I get a visa for Czechoslovakia.
我从捷克离开的晚上 The evening I left,
我的那个朋友被捕了,被审讯了一晚上 they arrested my friend,interrogated him all night long.
"那个作家为什么要来捷克斯洛伐克?" "Why does this writer keep coming to Czechoslovakia?"
回答,你这个混蛋! Answer,you dickwad!
他为什么来布拉格? Why does he come to Prague?
你们没看过他的书吗? Haven't you read his books?
他来捷克斯洛伐克 He comes to Czechoslovakia
是为了写捷克的女人! for the girls!
是为了女人 For the girls.
是真的吗? Was that true?
不,我被捷克的笑话迷住了 No,Czech jokes attracted me.
在英国,被女人迷住了 In England,it's the girls I'm into.
我觉得我今天没有那个 I feel like I don't have a cunt today.
被丢在家里了,没带来 I left it at home.Don't bring it up.
是吧 Okay.
要我回去吗? - 别了 You want me to go? - Hardly.
你是不是又要哭了? Are you near tears again?
是,感觉真是悲伤 Yes,I feel teary.
有吃的吗? Can I eat something?
有草莓,甜瓜,葡萄酒,还有一点面包 I have strawberries,melons,wine,some bread.
以及大麻 Even marijuana.
每样都来点,好吗? A little of each,please?
当然可以! Of course!
试想我死后,传记作者在翻阅我的笔记时： Imagine I die and,going through my notes,
发现了你的名字,他会问你: a biographer comes across your name.He asks you:
你认识他吗? Did you know him?
你会回应他吗? Would you talk to him?
看情况吧... It depends how...
还要看那个人怎么样 how intelligent he is.
是不是个认真的人也很重要 And if he's someone really serious.
可以说你是他喜欢的人 He liked you a lot,I can tell you that.
可问你一些有关他事吗? Can you tell me something about him?
你在做什么? Why are you doing this?
我很感兴趣你会怎么说? I'm curious.What would you say?
他的书都是情人写的 He wrote none of his books.
一系列的情妇写了他的书 A series of mistresses wrote them.
我写了最后的两本 I wrote the last two.
你虽然是个富有魅力的美人 Look,Miss,you're very sweet and very pretty.
但你没有告诉我真相 But you're not telling me the truth.
你和他有过什么样的关系? What kind of affair did you have with him?
非常偶然 Very occasional.
你得到了他的爱吗? - 没有 Was he in love with you? - No.
他想知道你是什么样的人 He'd want to know what you were like.
或者是我眼中的你是什么样的 Or what I thought you were like.
我会好好回答的 I'd be wonderful on that.
你会吗? Would you?
那答案是什么呢? So what's the answer?
说来话长 There's no short answer.
你不是说会告诉我关于他的事吗 You were about to tell me what kind of man he was.
我不会说的 I won't tell you.
即便我说了,也不会记载在书上吧 Even if I did, you wouldn't put it in the book.
他的态度是什么样的? What was he like to you?
他吗... He was...
很亲切 very nice.
够了吗? Can we stop?
不行,还没完 No,not yet.
他的葬礼你去了吗? Did you go to the funeral?
感谢上帝,那是早上,因为那天我亲爱的丈夫回家很晚 Thank God, it was in the morning.My beloved husband gets home late.
所以为了不孤单,我带孩子去了公园 So as not to be alone,I took my child to the park.
就算我出席了他的葬礼 Had I gone to the cemetery,
我也认为我会很孤单 I couldn't have shared it with anyone.
那里,本来就是 There,it would have been
他的家人,朋友,还有妻子吧 his family,his friends,his wife.
我不认为他会希望举办 A Jewish funeral which I don't think
犹太人式的葬礼 he really wanted.
我们到此为止吧? Can we stop now?
太精彩了,继续吧! You're on fire,go on!
那么你被他所深爱理由是什么? What did he love so about you?
把"深"字去掉 Drop the"so"and I'll answer.
好的,去掉 Okay,dropped.
因为我年轻,又有欲望,而且很闲 I was young,I was needy,I was there.
和他的妻子没有太大区别 Not very different from his wives,
但我是英国人 but I was English.
所以才... And that...
让我觉得对他很稀奇是吧 made me a little foreign to him.
他也喜欢我说话的方式 He liked the way I spoke.
你还对他的死感到悲伤吗? Since his death,are you better?
说啊,说啊... Come,come...
一般般吧... Just fair...
我的生活又开始了,这一天 My life began again for good,the day.
和他分手的日子 I gave up on him.
感觉松了口气 I felt much better.
但是这个话题... But living this...
以如此冰凉的方式 reliving this,in front of you,
在你面前认真地说 in such a cold way,
让我满是悲伤 fills me with sorrow.
和他在一起的时间... For me,those times...
是非比寻常的 were tremendous.
太棒了,我爱你 Marvelous.I love you.
你可以成为作家 You should be the writer.
不 No.
我知道我在做什么,你没有顾忌 I know what I'm in for.You have no scruples.
是你的朋友吗? You're a friend?
很棒,真是美好的一天 Great.Have a nice day.
我打瞌睡 I dozed off.
是的 Yes.
我梦到你了 I dreamt about you.
真是个美妙的梦 It was the most wonderful dream.
你展露原貌,亲爱的 The essence of you,my dear.
你能大点声吗? Can you speak louder?
我梦到你了 I dreamt about you.
这话很难说出口 It's hard to say these things.
所以你才说的那么小声 That's why your voice is so soft.
我们在梦里都干什么了? What happened to us in your dream?
和以前一样的事吗? Like in days of yore?
还要亲密 Better.
梦里一定做了什么 Must have been some dream.
是的 Yes.
我非常爱你 I was very in love with you.
是吗? - 是啊! Are you sure? - Yes!
我必须说... I must say...
这有帮助 that helps.
见到你我很高兴 It's wonderful seeing you.
真希望你也有和我一样可爱的梦 I wish you'd had the same lovely dream I did.
写下来吧 Write it out.
这样我就可以把它贴在关于你的书中 That way I can stick it in the book about you.
别开玩笑了! Don't be silly!
我不觉得是什么能见人的东西 I'm not laying myself on the line.
你看起来很不稳定 You seem shaky.
今天早上我化疗了 I had chemo this morning.
然后要做那可怕的手术 Then I have that god-awful operation.
副作用很厉害 The after-effects are pretty grim.
为什么副作用这儿大? Why does it get worse?
因为往身体里打了毒素 Because the poison is here,on the inside.
你什么时候出院? When do you get out?
明天早上 Tomorrow morning.
他们就这样把你赶出去了,我说吧 They just throw you out,I swear.
我在家里的话... Then I go home...
会一直睡到下午两点 and sleep 14 hours straight.
你脸色苍白... You're pale...
而且还瘦了 and you're thin.
是吗 You are.
我倒是希望瘦 I wish I were thin.
我看起来还键康 I look bursting with health.
除了掉头发别的看起来都挺好 I lose my hair,but otherwise I look great.
掉头发了就带上假发 You lose your hair.You'll wear a wig.
不要...从不戴 No...never.
我更喜欢戴这难看的头巾 I prefer these hideous babushkas.
你的头发还会长出来了 Your hair will grow back.
也是 Yes?
要好好保养. - 你看起来很好 It needs help. - You look good.
那一定是个好兆头 That must mean something.
是的 Yes.
我不会马上就死的 That I won't die immediately.
但是...最糟糕的情况是... No but...the worst nightmare is that...
做手术切开我的身体后,医生会发现 a surprise awaits the doctors when they open me up.
大量的癌细胞转移 That they'll see I'm full of tumors.
那可能吗? - 我不这么想 Is that possible? - I don't think so.
我觉得应该不会死 I don't think I should die.
你不会的 You won't.
你在梦里也这么说! You said that in my dream!
是啊? See?
24小时内听见两次不会错的 I can't be wrong twice in 24 hours.
再说一遍. - 肯定不会错的 Say that again. - I can't be wrong.
再说一遍! Again!
你不会死的 You're not going to die.
最后再说一次 One last time.
你不会死的,你会活下去的! You're not going to die.You're going to live!
谢谢 Thank you.
你还好吗? How are you?
不坏 Not bad.
我的研讨会的明星怎么样了? What's become of the star of my seminar?
我无法和别人沟通 I can't seem to communicate to people.
嗯 There.
我就是这样 That's how I am.
你? - 是啊 You? - Yes.
可怕的是,我好像记不清过去了 It's frightening. I can't seem to remember the past.
还有你的过去也是 I remember you very vaguely.
抱歉 Sorry.
这是因为 It's because.
我接受了休克疗法后,情况就恶化了 I had shock therapy.It made it worse.
什么疗法? What therapy?
这实际上是一个不错的体验 It was actually pretty pleasant.
他们给你麻醉醉了 They give you sodium pentothal.
你失去意识了,直到你醒来还是昏昏沉沉的 You're out.When you come around,you're groggy.
他们一周给你做两次 They didn't do much,twice a week.
我一点都不害怕 I wasn't frightened.
我正等着... I'm waiting for something...
恢复精神 an energy,to come back.
但是结果我却没什么感觉 Actually,I feel...nothing.
和别人说话时,就有点... When I speak to people,it's kind of...
不舒服 a downer.
要花费超多的精力 I need to make a huge effort.
像现在和你说话也是 Like right now with you.
对不起 Excuse me.
菲利普,帮我拿一下烟灰缸? Philip,can I have an ashtray?
你在吃药吗? Are you on meds?
我很沮丧,他们给我开了很多药 I was depressed.They gave me a combination.
不太好啊 I don't like that.
用他们的话说... They said that...
这些药片都兼容,但对我来说...... the pills were all compatible,but with me...
就没那么幸运 no such luck.
非常不好的反应 Very bad reaction.
我变得极度偏执 I became extremely paranoid.
然后我又再次去医院! So,re-hospitalized!
会诊室看起来像审讯室 I thought the exam room was a torture chamber.
我记得他们带着一张纸走进我的房间 I remember they came into my room with a paper.
然后说:"请你 And they said: "Will you please
在承认你杀害母亲的这份文件上签字?" sign this paper saying you killed your mother?"
我大发雷霆 I threw fits.
你怎么能叫我签这种文件？ How can you ask me to sign that?
你怎么敢? How dare you?
那是九月份的事 It was in September.
就是一种幻觉。 It was a hallucination.
现在我在服用抗精神病药镇定剂来预防它 Now I'm on an antipsychotic to prevent it.
量很少,但仍然... A small dose,but still...
怎么会变成这样? What demolished you like this?
明明以前很健康的 You were fine when I knew you.
理智上固执又聪明, Intellectually stubborn,
自信满满 very shrewd.
像哈姆雷特一样穿着黑色的风衣,很有天赋 Great flair in those black outfits,very Hamlet.
你的学生脸色惨白 Your student pallor.
现在这是否说明了你的心里负担? Does this now describe your burden?
这就是你5年前说的 That's what you said 5 years ago.
是在去3号街的餐馆的时候 When you took me to that restaurant on 3rd Avenue.
我记得晚餐,不记得我们说了什么 I remember the dinner,not what we said.
你祝我好运,说我需要它 You wished me luck,said I'd need it.
为什么呢? Why?
因为有些人可能会觉得我的魅力无法抗拒! Because some people might find me irresistible!
我太紧张了,这是我听到的为数不多的事情之一 I was so on edge,it was one of the few things I heard.
我记得! That I remember!
我自己也不是很冷静 I wasn't very calm myself.
我不可能知道.你是我的老师 I couldn't have known.You were my teacher.
这就是我不太冷静的原因 That's why I wasn't too calm.
你弄着一头蓬乱的头发,安静地走进教室 You'd slink into class with that disheveled hair.
我记得那些读卡夫卡的傻瓜 I remember all those egg-heads reading Kafka,
解释《变形记》和《审判》是如何 explaining howThe Metamorphosis and The Trial
从他与父母的矛盾关系中衍生出来的 derived from his relation to his father.
而你... And you...
用细小的声音说道:"不对…” you said wearily"No..."
恰恰相反 It was the opposite.
他与父母的矛盾关系 The source of his relationship to his father
来源于《变形记》和《审判》 is The Metamorphosis and The Trial.
然后你给了我致命一击 Then you threw your haymaker.
"年满36岁的作家 "By the time a writer is 36,
他停止把经验写成虚构的故事 he stops translating experience into fiction,
更应该把故事投射到人生中 he imposes his fiction on experience."
19岁的时候 At nineteen,
你已经是不一般的某个人了 you were already somebody.
我已经疯了? I was already crazy?
完全不是 Not at all.
也许你也疯了 Maybe you were crazy too.
在我的一个课后,你给我写了一张便条: After one of my classes,you wrote me a note:
"每晚我都只许一个愿: "I pray for only one thing,every night:
那就是成为一个优秀的作家.: to be a good writer."
优秀的作家... A good writer...
再告诉我一次发生了什么事 Tell me again what happened.
让我了解休克治疗,医院 Make me understand the shock treatments,the hospitals.
都是很久以前的事了 The old,old story.
我被... I was attracted to...
催眠的好色之徒所吸引 hypnotic womanizers.
然后就变得奇怪了 And I went bonkers.
这是对我的惩罚 It was my punishment.
你在责备我吗? Is that an accusation?
不,怎么会. No,no.
不会的,和你在一起很新鲜 No,with you it was fresh.
你很温柔,也很亲切 Tender,so intimate.
令人陶醉 It was inebriating.
你至今为止有没有过丝毫风险的... You never had affairs that weren't...
这么紧张? so fraught?
只是愉快? Just pleasant?
很多! Lots!
发生了什么？ What happened?
发生了什么... What happened...
发生的事情让我感到无聊 what happened was I got bored.
9. 审判 THE TRIAL.
你能向法庭解释你憎恨女性的原因吗? Can you explain to the court why you hate women?
我不憎恨她们 I don't hate them.
如果你不憎恨 If you don't,
那为什么在你的书中诽谤和诋毁她们呢？ then why defame and denigrate them in your books?
为什么在你的工作和生活中滥用它们? Why abuse them in your work and in your life?
在我的工作和生活中,我都没有做过这种事情 Neither in my work nor my life do I abuse them.
专家的证词中可不是这么说的 We've heard testimony from expert witnesses.
您在法庭上争辩说 You argue before the court
这些具有无可挑剔的专业标准的专家 that these experts with unimpeachable professional standards
要么是错误的 are either mistaken
要么是在撒谎? or lying?
我能问一个问题吗? May I ask something?
你有帮过女性的忙吗? What have you ever done that's useful to women?
为什么你将对一个女人的描写 Why do you interpret
解释为对所有女人群体的描绘? one woman's depiction as that of all woman?
你身为被告不能问问题 You're not allowed to ask questions,
只能回答问题 only to answer them.
你被指控性别偏见 You are charged with sexism,
歧视女性 misogyny,
虐待女性 woman abuse,
诽谤女性 slander of women,
和无情的诱惑女性 and ruthless seduction.
先生? Sir?
是? Yes?
你为什么要出版这种让女性感到痛苦的书? Why did you publish books that cause women suffering?
你从没想过它会对我们敌人有利吗? You never thought they'd be fodder for our enemies?
我只能这么说 I can only reply
这个你们喜欢的自封的平等权利民主的目标 that the objectives of this self-styled equal-rights democracy
与作为作家的我 of which you're fond are not mine
是不一致的! as a writer!
我们不想听你谈论文学理论方面的理由 We have no desire to hear you talk literature.
在你的书中所描绘的女性全部都是让人 In your books,all women are stereotypes.
厌恶的变态形象 They're vicious perverts.
特诺菠萝夫人的描写也是如此 Why portray Mrs Tarnopol
你是这样发音的吗? is that how you pronounce it?
像歇斯底里和精神病态? As hysterical and psychopathic?
为什么把女人描绘成鼩鼱? Why depict women as shrews?
你去问问莎士比亚啊? Why did Shakespeare do it?
难道我应该对全体女性都大加称赞吗? You make it seem as if every woman must be extolled.
没想到你会拿莎士比亚出来说话! You compare yourself to Shakespeare!
让我们来看看您的背景 Let's delve into your background.
你曾在大学教书,对吗? You were a university professor,right?
是那样 That's right.
因此,您是否曾经与女学生发生过性关系？ As such,did you engage in sexual practices with students?
那也算是侮辱吗? Humiliating too?
不适合你吗？ Not for you?
她们与你发生关系会感到很荣幸吗？ They were honored to be chosen?
你有多少次对本应得到保护的学生 How often did you force them
强行发生性关系? to copulate with a teacher acting in loco parentis?
我没有强行要求过任何,相信我 There was no need to exert force, trust me.
你欺骗了多少学生并榨取了她们的利益? How many students did you influence and exploit?
三位! Three!
这些年来我和三个学生谈过恋爱! Over the years I've had love affairs with three!
在讲解完文学之后 After patronizing us with a lecture on literature,
我们还要听听你的恋爱观吗? we must now bear another one on love?
你来说恋爱观吧? From you?
你与其他人有过不伦关系吗? - 我有过! You practiced adultery? - I still do!
与朋友的妻子吗? With wives of friends?
更多的是和陌生人的妻子在一起,比如你 More often with wives of strangers, like you.
你会有虐待类的兴奋吗? Who gave more sadistic delight?
你无情地勾引了哪个朋友的妻子？ Friends whose wives you ruthlessly seduced?
还是陌生人的? - 你就很漂亮! Or strangers? - You're beautiful!
他甚至在法庭上侮辱我! He's exploiting me in court!
不,你很讨人喜欢! No,you're delightful!
小姐! Brilliant!
我不是"小姐!" I'm no "girl"!
这就是性爱,宝贝 This is fucking,baby.
简直是淫秽! This is pure pornography!
我在法庭上和你做爱! I'm fucking you in a court of law!
女人们都来吧! Follow me,ladies!
10. 春 SPRING.
你什么时候回去工作? When are you due at work?
下午吧 In the afternoon.
反正我可能不应该来找你了 I probably shouldn't come to you anyway.
我一直任性 I've been capricious.
你随便吧 I think you wanted to try something.
你试过了 You tried it.
对我来说,你不是任性的 For me,you're not capricious.
我不太想说 I don't want to talk about it.
那也许... Then maybe...
你还是不来的好 it's best you don't come.
我很想见你 I'd love to see you.
我很想见你 I'm dying to see you.
你真的让我很不安 You've really unsettled me.
抱歉,我可不想要麻烦 Sorry if I've been a pain.
别犯傻了 Don't be silly.
你想我了吗? Did you miss me?
我当然想你! Of course I've missed you!
今天下午我想疯了 Terribly,this afternoon.
我坦白 In fact.
你想我什么? What do you miss?
你想知道吗? - 别了！ Want to know? - No!
请不要说下流话, No dirty talk,please.
好吧 All right.
久等了 Here I am.
我胖了? - 还没那么胖 I'm heavier? - Not quite the matron yet.
我不再烦恼了 I don't worry about anything anymore.
我很平静. - 自我消失吗 I'm not anxious anymore. - Since I disappeared.
我不知道是从什么时候开始的 I don't know since when.
你的家庭怎么样了? So how are things on the home front?
你丈夫喜欢他们吗? How does he like them?
丰满漂亮的美女? Plump and pretty?
我更喜欢以前的你 I like them the way you were.
又瘦又神经质的你 Thin and neurotic.
我的家庭情况好多了 Things are much better.
自从你消失以后 Since you've been gone,
家庭中的权力平衡发生了变化 what's happened is a shift in the balance of power.
变得对我有利了 In my favor.
我的丈夫变得温柔了 He behaves much better to me.
太好了 Excellent.
谢谢你,医生 Thank you,Doctor.
来见我会让你很痛苦吧 Seeing me is difficult for you.
我应该警告过你 I should have warned you.
即便如此我也来了 I'd have come anyway.
我的老父亲是掌握家庭发言权的 My old father lives at the boiling point.
他对一切都看不惯 An opinion on everything,
而且常常不是我 and often it's not mine.
与父亲在一起,有时我必须 With my father,I must sometimes
抑制自己的情绪,表现得像个14 岁的孩子 suppress myself from acting like a 14-year-old.
去年夏天 Last summer,
当我哥哥的儿子决定嫁给一个波多黎各人时,我父亲很生气 he got riled up when my brother's son decided to marry a Puerto Rican.
因为没有忍住怒火 Since he can't hide his feelings,
他也把孩子惹怒了 he got the kid all riled up too.
我开车赶过去 I got into my car,
从康涅狄格开到了新泽西 drove from Connecticut to New Jersey.
一到那里就听着父亲 When I got there,he started in on me.
对我抱怨了30分钟的不满 I listened half an hour.
然后我决定给他上一点历史课 Then I decided to give him a little history lesson.
我说,听着,亲爱的父亲， I said,Listen, dear father,
你的父亲在世纪之交... your father,at the turn of the century,had...
曾经面对3个选择 3 choices.
一是: 和奶奶一起住在犹太加利西亚 One: stay in Jewish Galicia with Grandma.
如果不这样做,留下所有家人离开 Had he stayed,what would have happened to him,
包括他,她,我,你,桑迪 to her,me,you,Sandy?
现在都成灰了! Ashes!
老爸! 所有东西都和烟一起飘上天了! Dad! Ashes! Everything up in smoke!
你不同意吗? - 别说了! Don't you agree? - Yes,but stop!
我要继续说.选第二个 I'll continue my logic.Choice two.
你父亲本可以去巴勒斯坦的! Your father could have gone to Palestine!
二是: 去巴勒斯坦 Two. Your father could have gone to Palestine.
你和哥哥桑迪在1948 年会与阿拉伯人作战 You and Sandy in 1948 would have fought the Arabs.
至少你们中的一个人会失去一条腿,一只脚,一只胳膊! At least one of you would have lost a leg,foot,arm!
在67年,我会参加六日战争 In 67,I'd have fought in the Six Day War.
那至少我的脑袋里有一片单片 At least some shrapnel in my head.
一定,一定. - 我可能会失去一只眼睛! Sure,sure. - I could have lost an eye!
在82年的黎巴嫩内战中,会失去一个孙子 Your grandkids:Lebanon,'82.
假设就只有一个孙子被杀,这就是在巴勒斯坦! Let's assume only one gets killed.That's Palestine!
其三是美国,这才是被你父亲选中的! Choice3: America.The one your father picked!
第三个选择! Third choice!
去美国! Go to America!
在美国,可能发生的最糟糕的事情是什么? In America,what's the worst thing that can happen?
居然是孙子和波多黎各人结婚! Grandson marries a Puerto Rican!
波兰的犹太人的宿命! Stay in Poland and accept the consequences!
去以色列,接受成为以色列犹太人的宿命！ Go to Israel and accept the consequences of being an Israeli Jew!
否则你是美国的犹太人的宿命! Or else you live in America! So?
你选择哪一个? What do you prefer?
你父亲怎么说? What did he say?
他说:"好吧,闭嘴! 你是对的! 你赢了!" He said:"Okay,stop! You're right! You win!"
我很激动,因为第一次把父亲说服了 I was thrilled,for once I outfoxed him.
我说,老爸,知道接下来会怎么样吗? I said,Dad,know what's next?
我会去见那个女孩的妈妈 I'll go see that girl's mother.
她会握着十字架而哭泣 She must be torturing her rosary.
我会说,你要活下去... I'll say,You want to live...
你要住在波多黎各吗? 所以 You want to live in Puerto Rico? So,
你女儿会和当地人结婚 your daughter marries a Puerto Rican.
一辈子都住在波多黎各! But you all have to live in Puerto Rico!
否则,你住在美国布鲁克林 Otherwise,you live in Brooklyn,
最糟的情况也就是和犹太人做亲戚而已 and worst-case scenario,your daughter marries a Jew.
于是我父亲又生气了! My father starts up again!
"最糟的情况"是什么意思? "Worst-case scenario?" Meaning?
为什么是最糟的情况? Why worst case?
她应该为她女儿的结婚对象而感到高兴才对 She should be thrilled who her daughter's marrying.
她应该为她女儿嫁给谁而感到兴奋! She should be thrilled who her daughter's marrying!
是的,我和父亲差不多 Yes,almost as much as you.
和我? Me?
所以? 最后呢? So? How did it end?
婚礼在圣帕特里克教堂举行 The marriage took place at St. Patrick's
一名拉比出席 with a rabbi in attendance
以防波多黎各人有事 in case they tried to slip us a fast one.
好厉害的故事! What a story!
但为什么要闹得这么大? Why do they all magnify these things?
又为什么你要把这变成小事情? Why do you all try to minimize them?
在英国,去餐厅餐馆,和去派对 In England,when I'm in a public place,a restaurant,a party,
如果说"犹太人"这个词,大家都会很小声 if someone uses the word "Jew" the voice drops a bit.
真的? Really?
你们都说"犹太人"这个词的色调是 You all say"Jew"
和小声说"狗屎"是一样的 the way most people say"shit".
"犹太人" Jew.
天哪,学的和你父亲一模一样 God,you really are your father's son.
不然还和谁像? Whose should I be instead?
你母亲呢? Your mother's?
这些天我遇到的每个人都说: Everyone I keep meeting these days says:
"我记得你在牛津 "I remember you at Oxford.
穿着透明衬衫,不戴胸罩" You wore transparent blouses and no bra."
所以你以前是很外向的 So you're an ex-extrovert.
每个人都讨厌我的蓝头发 Everyone criticized my blue hair,
还因为我喜欢露胸 and because I exposed my breasts.
这里已经好久没有露出来了 I haven't seen them exposed around here for a while.
我已经不喜欢它们了 I don't like them anymore.
我在听你说话时 I listen to you.
会问很多 A lot.
你问的太多了 Too much.
为什么? Why?
这次又是为什么? What is it?
因为我想我仍然喜欢你 I'm thinking that I still love you.
尽管? Despite?
尽管 Despite.
不,不哭... No,no...
别哭了 Stop.
你不离婚很难为了 It's beneath you to stay married
因为你怕找不到工作 because you think you can't get another job
并且你要保住饭票 and this way you have a meal ticket.
那不是很正常嘛 A meal ticket is not beneath anyone.
一点都不像你啊 Yes,it's beneath you.
婚姻有了裂痕,干嘛不结束,我不明白 If the marriage is over,why not leave? I don't get it!
我不要 I don't want to.
你要有尊严 There's your dignity.
没有收入就没有尊严 There's no dignity without income.
聪明,但错了! Clever,but wrong!
恰恰相反! Just the opposite is true!
看吧 Look.
我给你写张支票 I'll write you a check.
这太好了 It's terribly nice.
但我不会接受的 I honestly can't take it.
为什么不直接兑现呢? 把它放在你的银行里,或收好 Why not just cash it? Put it in your bank, or hide it.
只是不要把它放在你和丈夫的联名账户里 Just don't put it in your joint account.
我可以把它装帧起来吗? Can I frame it?
不行 No.
只是别弄丢了 Just don't lose it.
我可以把它放在我的圣经里吗? Can I put it in my Bible?
不,把它放在银行里以备不时之需 No,put it in the bank for a rainy day.
扔掉之前为什么不三思呢? Why not think before throwing it out?
非常感谢 Thanks very much.
你最好是收下它 It'd be best if you took it.
我会想你的 I'll miss you.
非常地想你 I'll miss you a lot.
我也想你 I'll think of you too.
这对我们俩来说都是一个悲伤的结局 It's a real damn shame for both of us.
11. 妻子 THE SPOUSE.
告诉我你有什么烦恼 Tell me what's upsetting you.
我每天从工作室回来都吃这让人窒息的晚餐 I can't come home from my studio to dinners like these.
你不说话 You don't speak.
而且脸色很难看 You look awful.
我睡不着 I don't sleep.
为什么? 告诉我! - 我不知道 Why not? Tell me! - I don't know.
是我的错吗? Something to do with me?
我很想知道... I want to know...
但我不能 and I don't.
可以说吗 Here we go.
想知道什么? What's this about?
你之所以去工作室 You don't go to your studio to work.
是为了和女人睡觉 You go to your studio to fuck.
你有外遇了 You're having an affair.
你这么想? You think so?
是的 Yes.
我的工作室里没有女人,唉 There are no women in my studio,alas.
除了我小说里的人物 Apart from the characters in my novel.
不是你的小说,是在你的笔记本里 Not your novel,your notebook.
你忘了把它放在你的公文包里,所以我去取 You forgot to put it in your briefcase,so I took it.
我很蠢,我知道我不应该打开它 Stupidly.I knew I shouldn't open it.
你们都白费力气了 You're all worked up for nothing.
因为你看到了一些笔记? Because you saw a few notes?
不是笔记.它们是... Not notes.They're...
和那个女人的聊天记录 conversations with that woman.
她是虚构的! - 她不是! She's imaginary! - She isn't!
她是. - 她是真实的 She is. - She's real.
她去了你的工作室 She goes to your studio.
她就是为什么…几个月来让你一直心不在焉的原因 She's why...for months you've been so distracted.
当我说话时,你几乎都是一副要睡着了的样子 When I speak,you can barely stay awake.
但她只要一开口 But the second she opens her mouth,
你就会忍不住记下每一个字 you can't help taking note of every word.
这一切都很棒 Which are all wonderful.
"一个聆听者" "An écouteur."
"一个发烧友" "And audiophiliac."
多么自命不凡的废话! What a load of pretentious crap!
也许是因为我正在写的小说 Maybe it's because of the book I'm writing
让我分心了... that I'm less interested...
承认吧! Admit it!
为什么? To what?
你从来没有这么爱过我 That you never loved me so much.
因为她不存在! Because she doesn't exist!
如果你也是那样,我也会同样爱你 If you didn't exist, I'd love you like that too.
真是让人惊讶! Incredible!
难以置信怎么会有这种对话! I can't believe we're arguing over this!
愚不可及! It's absurd!
我想 And I suppose
你和罗莎莉,尼科尔斯的对话... talking to Rosalie Nichols was...
也是你想象中的吗? was imaginary too?
但它是真实的 But it's true.
你说你是电话里与她他对话的 You told me you'd spoken to her.
我虽然记录了几次和罗莎莉的对话 For Rosalie Nichols,I wrote some of what we said
但笔记中也有一些我从未和她说过的话 and more of what we didn't
都是我创作出来的 and that I made up.
都是我编的! I made those things up!
你读到我的捷克朋友的事了吗？ You read about my Czech friend?
是,我都读了 Yes,I read it all.
坐着仔细的读过了! I stupidly sat down and read it all!
我的捷克朋友伊万,尽管他很疯狂 My Czech friend Ivan,as crazy as he is,
从来没有怀疑过我和奥莉娜的关系! never accused me of sleeping with Olina!
我不想知道的更多 It's so much better not to know.
哦,真是一场闹剧啊 No,I don't believe this melodrama.
你都累坏了! You get all worked up!
你不会听的... You won't listen...
真是无理取闹 You dramatize everything.
无理取闹的是你! It's you who dramatizes everything!
我不解释 I won't explain myself.
提醒你,我会从各种各样的声音中感受到魅力 Or remind you that people's voices hold an appeal for me.
笔记本则是这些声音的记录! This notebook is proof!
我曾想象过 I have imagined
一个爱情故事,这是我一直在写的小说 a love story.It's what I do all the time.
那个笔记本是一个真正的女人 That notebook is a real woman.
那个笔记本好像托尔斯泰... That notebook is as if Tolstoy had...
想象自己爱上了安娜,卡列尼娜 imagined himself in love with Anna Karenina.
或者哈代... Or Hardy with...
我的幻想引导着我! I follow my leads where they take me!
我不接受你或任何人的审查! Not by you or anyone will I be censored!
你不要再自我欺骗了 Stop the self-righteous shtick, don't shout.
不要对我吼,好吗? I cannot be screamed at, okay?
谎言是无法隐瞒的 You're trying to confuse me.
我只是在说明事实 I'm trying to make you see things straight.
我确实从伊万那里听说了 Yes,Olina did bed down with a Black guy.
我与奥莉娜出轨的事情 And Ivan told me about it.
但是那是创作,我是不会背叛朋友的 But he never accused me of betraying him.
我不是那样做的 That's not how I go about it.
当我写作时,我需要让自己代入其中! When I write,I need to compromise myself!
这就是我的动力 That's what motivates me.
这段无聊的对话就是证明! As is proved by this fucking argument!
还有那个生病的美国小疯子呢? And the little American loony?
冷静下来! 好好想想! Control yourself! Think!
让她想想 She thinks.
那么你和她说吧 So go think with her.
好的,好的,我们去拿笔记本 Okay,okay,let's get the notebook.
我们坐下来,我一行一行的给你解释 We'll sit down,I'll explain to you line after line
我一直在做什么 what I've been up to,
假设我能够理解它! supposing I'm able to understand it!
我相信这个英国女人不存在？ I'm to believe this Englishwoman doesn't exist?
那么你怎么知道这个想象中的女人 So how do you know the things about English life
告诉你的关于英国生活的事情呢? that this imaginary woman tell you?
嘿,看起来比我知道的更多是我的事 Hey,it's my business to seem to know more than I do.
但它真是如此亲密 But it's so intimate.
比起亲密更多的是有趣,这才是主题! Intimacy is interesting.It's a subject!
你打算出版这么吗? Are you going to publish the notebook?
我还不知道,但那样也不错 I don't know.It's occurred to me.
就这样发行吗? Publish it as is?
我说了我不知道。 I said I didn't know.
如果把你的名字改了不是很好吗? Mightn't it be advisable to change your name?
能把"飞利浦,请把烟灰缸递给我"变成"内森..."吗? Can"Philip,an ashtray"become"Nathan"?
不,祖克曼是我在小说中的角色 No,Zuckerman is my character in novels.
这个不一样,笔记本里是我 This is different.The notebook is me.
你刚才说不是你 You just said it's not you.
是我的想象,是关于幻想 It's me imagining.It's about an imagination.
一旦出版,没有人会说它是关于想象的 Once published,no one will say it's about an imagination.
他们把我的小说说成自传 They say my fiction is autobiography.
把自传评价成小说 That my autobiography is fiction.
评论家非常聪明 Since I'm so dumb and they're so smart,
让他们来决定分类 let them decide what it is.
真实好玩的游戏 Sounds like a fun game.
那我的名誉怎么办? What if it humiliates me?
只是个游戏! It's a game!
这是我的自我模仿! It's an impersonation of myself!
自我模仿而已 I ventriloquize myself,it's homo ludens.
除了我们谁会知道？ Who'd know that besides us?
我不能也不会生活在一个自由裁量的世界里 I cannot and do not live in a world of discretion.
作家可不在乎名声! Shame is not for novelists!
你所要做的就是让可怜的美国人说: All you have to do is make the wretched American say:
"内森,请把烟灰缸递给我"而不是"菲利普...". 这就是我的要求 "Nathan, an ashtray" and not "Philip". That's all I ask.
不行 No.
去哪? - 外面! Going? - Out!
我最讨厌别人指手画脚! Being told what to write drives me crazy!
我跟你一起出去 Don't go out alone! I'll come along.
结束了,已经够远了,我不能被追捕 It's over.It's gone far enough.I can't be hounded.
我要按照我自己的想法写书并发表 I write what I write,I publish however I want.
他妈的被误解也无所谓! - 是误解 Fuck what people get wrong! - Or get right.
只是一个笔记本而已,不是人! This is a notebook,not a human being!
你是一个人,不管你喜不喜欢.我也是,她也是! You are a human being,like it or not.So am I,so is she!
不,她只是话语 No,she is just words.
我怎么能和话语做爱! Try as I will,I cannot fuck words!
我出门了 I'm going out.
一个人出去 Alone.
12. 尾声 EPILOGUE.
好啊,真准时啊 Good,right on time.
他们正在为我们准备桌子 They're preparing a table for us,
它还没有准备好 it's not ready yet.
那么... So...how...
你好吗? - 我怎么样?？ How are you? - How am I?
我非常好 I'm very good.
你呢? 你好吗? And you? How are you?
我想见你问那些有趣的问题 I wanted to see you to ask these fascinating questions.
所以你还好吗? So how are you?
好,我非常好 Well,I'm doing very well.
我试过打电话,但你的号码打不通 I've tried calling,but your number's not working.
你打了哪个国家的号码? What country were you calling?
你英国办公室的号码. - 我已经离开了 Your studio in England. - I've left.
现在好了我在美国 I'm in America for good now.
告诉我 Listen.
状态如何? How are you?
我真的很好. - 那太好了! I'm really very well.- Great!
我好想见你 I've been thinking about you.
我读了你的书,犹豫过要不要给你打电话 I read your book,hesitated about calling.
我想了很多. - 我也是 I thought about it a lot.- So did I.
我想知道,我的书是否对你的婚姻生活 And I wondered if it had any effects
造成了什么影响 on your marriage.
我的丈夫没有读 He didn't read it.
太好了,放心了 Wonderful.Of course.
你的桌子准备好了 Your table is ready.
那么最近在干什么呢? So what's new?
告诉我 Tell me.
我很好,不是吗? I'm fine,aren't I?
是啊 Yes.
从何说起呢 I don't know where to start.
你恨我没给你打电话吗？ Did you hate me for not calling?
不,完全没有.我理解我们的离别 No,not at all.I just thought it was a decision.
我想我们上次谈话时 I think that the last time we spoke,
我们俩都不太高兴 neither of us was very happy.
我想你必须走自己的路 I figured you had to go your own way.
我想我也必须去走我的路 And I suppose I had to go mine.
距离我们择道而别,已经有两年了 It was two years ago,we went our own ways.
是啊 Yes.
嗯,我很高兴你给我打电话,因为我还很想你 Well,I'm very glad you called because I missed you a lot.
我离开你是因为... You said you were stopping because...
恋情结束了 the love affair was over.
不,你说你不想见我了 No.You said you wanted to stop seeing me.
真的吗? - 是的! Really? - Yes!
不止一次 More than once.
我记性很好 I have a good memory.
的确 Indeed.
真让我惊讶 I was astonished.
有两个人告诉我:"我在书中听到了你的声音." Two people told me: "I heard your voice in the book."
真的? - 是的 Really? - Yes.
谁那么说? Who said that?
是擅长倾听且喜欢文学的朋友说的 I have friends who read literature and listen to me.
主要是你讲话用词很独特 You have a distinctive delivery.
我爱你有20个原因 I was in love with you for 20 reasons,
那就是最美丽的一个 and that was the most beautiful one.
对我来说,它是... For me,it was...
是漫长而甜密的一段时间 a long,delightful,
是悲伤却最为珍贵的时间 finally very sad, important...
我也有同感 I'd say the same.
我没有像这样爱过其他人 No one had ever been so appreciated.
我对你很着迷 I was nuts about you.
真的? - 你知道的 Really? - You knew it.
不要装一副英国人的样子 Don't turn English.
也是... Well...
关于你的事情令我非常苦恼 I worried a lot about you.
真的吗? Really?
用歌来传达吧? Should I start with the song?
你还记得吗? Do you remember
在那个下午 that afternoon
当我们啪啪的时候 when we tick-tick
我们会见的 we would meet up
你和我... you and me...
是啊,是啊 Yes,yes.
顺便说一句,我也不年轻了 By the way,I'm not young anymore.
遇见你的时候,我还年轻 When I met you I was still young.
但到了35岁的时候就都结束了 But when you hit 35,it's suddenly all over.
不是都结束了.但是…有些已经结束了 Not all over,but...some of it is over.
快乐会消失? The glow has gone?
16岁的时光消失了 That was probably gone at 16.
我很快就37岁了 I'm turning 37.
是啊... Yes...
我会在自然博物馆恐龙展厅举办派对 I'll throw a party in the museum dinosaur wing.
好主意,不错的地方 Great idea.Great location.
你被邀请了 You're invited.
不知道怎么解释 I don't know how to explain it,
我开始对自己有了完全不同的看法 I'm starting to think of myself quite differently.
当你停止扮演活泼的少年时 When you stop acting the lively adolescent.
对女性来说,这是一个艰难的过渡 It's a difficult transition for women.
我之前没有给你打电话 I didn't call you before
因为我不想再打扰你的生活 because I didn't want to disturb your life again.
你和你丈夫 You and your husband,
你们还住在一起吗? you still live together?
我们还算稳定的维持着 We go about things decently.
我一直想知道最大的问题是什么 I keep wondering what the big problem is.
显然也有解决不来的问题 Obviously there are intractable problems.
比如孤独 Like loneliness.
我感觉非常孤独 I feel terribly lonely.
我对工作感到厌烦 I get bored at work.
但除了这个大问题,我想一切都还顺利 But besides the big problems,I think it's all fine.
你有情人吗? Do you have a lover?
没有.. No,no...
听着 Listen,
我对这本书的角色如此波动感到很惊讶 I was astonished to see this character
太被动了 so terribly passive.
如果这写的是我 I had no idea,insofar as it's me.
如果这是你的话... Insofar as it's you...
毫无疑问就是你本身 insofar...it's completely you.
嗯,现在我跟以前不一样了 Well,I'm not like that anymore.
真的? Really?
我现在是一个积极的人 I'm a positive person now.
感谢上帝,我提前完成了我的书 Thank God I finished my book beforehand.
书中积极的人让我直接入睡。 Positive people in books put me straight to sleep.
是,但是那么消极的话这是可怕 Yes,but...that passivity was terrifying.
是,写作会扭曲事实 Well,writing alters things.
我感觉到了愤怒 I felt angry.
就像当地人说照片偷走了他们的一部分灵魂一样 Like natives who say photographs steal part of their souls.
我就知道你会生气 I knew you'd be angry.
非常生气 Very angry.
你什么时候重拾自信的? And when did you get over it?
我可能还没有 I probably haven't.
天哪,我是多么想 God,how I've missed
和你聊天啊 talking to you.
不做笔记吗? And not taking notes?
当然 Of course.
我也很想 I've missed it too.
我太想你了 I've missed it so badly.
我也想念你在我耳边说话 I talk to you in my head.
我也是 I talk to you too.
"新鲜的疆土"对我来说不是一个好名字 "Freshfield" was not a good name for me.
你应该咨询我的 You should have consulted me.
有一首叫做"明天是一片全新的疆土..."的诗词 It's from an English poem,"Tomorrow to fresh woods..."
我明白了,但是不行,太短视了 I got it,but it wasn't right.Too easy.
你对我太严厉了 You haven't lost your bite.
所以你现在住在美国 So you live in America now.
这里对你来说太基督教化了吧？ Was it too Christian for you here?
真是 True.
我变得很想念我的祖国 I was missing something here.I didn't realize.
真的? 具体是想念什么? Really? What was that?
这个嘛... The...
犹太人! Jews!
我们这里也有一些 We've got some here.
我说的是有胆量的犹太人 I'm talking about Jews with guts.
那些大口吃着食物的犹太人,不知廉耻的犹太人 Jews with appetite,Jews without shame.
用手肘撑着桌子吃饭的粗鲁,愤怒的犹太人 Brash,angry Jews who eat with their elbows on the table.
侮辱,争论,无礼的犹太人 Insult,argument,impudence.
回到部落的怀抱里了. - 没错 Back in the bosom of the tribe.- Exactly.
是不是很奇怪? - 有点 Isn't it odd? - Not very.
那个回家的人 The one who's gone home.
你读过《奥德赛》吗? You read"The Odyssey"?
流放与回归的史诗.你在里面会是什么角色? An epic of exile and return.What's your role?
娜乌西卡? Nausicaä?
卡利普索? Calypso?
荷马 Homer.
我会写给你的 I'll write on you.
尽快,我可能会再写一篇关于你的文章 Hurry up,I may write a second one on you.
真的假的 You wouldn't do that.
你会写吗？ Would you?
你敢吗? You'd dare?
当然了,我要写 Of course I would.
我也会引用这次谈话 This conversation will be part of it.
把素材翻个底漏 You'd be scraping the bottom of the barrel.
不要低估了自己 Don't underestimate yourself.
那是一些很棒的素材 You were a great barrel.
你就是你. - 是我吗? For me,you were.- Was I?
我已经发了好几个月的火了 I was so angry for months.
但因为读了这本书,我就感觉不到愤怒了 I was torn because after I read it,I couldn't be angry.
那是为什么？ Why was that?
因为... Because...
因为你太温柔了 because it was so tender,
我想 I think.
除非是我误会了 Unless I got it wrong.
你没有误解 You didn't get it wrong.
保重 Good evening,ma'am.
2. 布拉格 PRAGUE
3. 罗莎莉 ROSALIE
8. 纽约 NEW YORK
《欺骗》作者签售会